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You need to direct your attention to where it does the most good: the people who are already checking you out. After all, dating is all about putting your best, most authentic self forward and we associate marketing with an attractive line of bullshit that’s intended to lure in a bunch of suckers eager to be separated from their hard-earned money.

Your messages can be awesome, but unless you have a profile that makes them stop and pay attention… So I’m about to impart to you the secret to online dating success: you need to quit thinking like a lover. Worse, when you bring “marketing” and “internet” together, what’s the first thing that comes to mind? You want as many people as possible coming to see your profile and you want to keep those people around long enough to dazzle them with your brilliance (or at least baffle them with your bullshit) and make them decide that yes, they attention, the kind you don’t want.

Balance the family photos with you doing something fun—like hanging out at a stadium—so I have a better idea of what our time together will be like.” –James, 42“If the woman’s photos are only with friends, I automatically think she is shy and insecure about her looks.

I would like to see a confident picture of her by herself doing something she loves.

I’m fascinated by the history of words and how it adds dimensions of meaning to the definition. “Life is short.” Are you talking about your own particular life expectancy? But come on, are you really Amazing, like so many other words, is so worn out it’s become the opposite of amazing. But I know for sure I’ll only click to the next profile if I see that someone is looking for what everyone else is looking for. They’re blatantly displayed on your profiles for everyone to see, whether you knew it or not.

The etymology of one word I find particularly fascinating: cliché. Because most people here want someone who’s going to stay alive for a while. Make it meaningful and tell me what experience has led you to appreciate the fleeting nature of life. “I love my amazing friends/family/pets/job/life.” We get it. And now that you know it, don’t you want to show yourself as the unique individual you are, rather than the stereotypical online dater?

I’m going to break down the 5 biggest mistakes men make and lay out a simple formula to help you increase your reply rates.

For something that’s frequently hailed as the dating salvation for the introverted, the socially awkward, and the shy, sometimes all that happens is… Your winks and messages get sent out and all you get for your trouble is deafening silence.

“I’m looking for a woman who likes a night out on the town as much as a night in watching movies.” I just don’t get it. Can’t you ‘write hard’ and put a little effort into your profile? “I’m shy at first but really open up when you get to know me.” Cliché , meet the paraphrase.

I never really saw those two things as diametrically opposed.

For men, the figure hovers somewhere from 20% to 40%.

That is, there is such a gender imbalance that if you’re sending out messages to 10 women and 4 reply, you’re doing far better than average in online dating. This simple realization will help in the following ways.




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